• kqd.

IG: For the Love, Not for the Likes...

"Mi dweet fi di love mi nuh dweet fi di likes." - Chronixx.


The energy in the room has shifted. Can you tell? Can you feel the difference on the page? If so, what do you feel? The energy in the room has shifted.

The IG page is under new (mindset) management. That is because I decided to ground myself in my truth: I do it for the love, I don't do it for the likes.

Please, allow me to explain.


Prior to Cafe con Libros, I was barely on social media. To be exact, my Facebook & Twitter accounts had been inactive for years, I could not tell you what LinkedIn was and, no thank you to IG. It is no secret that I have a strong aversion to social media - I find the expectation to perform with likes as the measurement of acceptance problematic on a regular day and after working as a social worker in a middle school, problematic morphed into spiritually lethal.


However, as a business person, I have been pushed onto the social media scene. And while I do not wish to have a personal presence at this time, over the past three years, I have come to respect that any long-term sustainability plan includes a robust social media strategy. I acquiesce. In doing so, I've had to work hard to repair my relationship with social media in general. And specifically, with the expectation that I should play a leading role on the page.

Every publication worth their salt say one of the most important things I can do as a business owner is to feature myself "with authentic storytelling." Sigh. I can write an entire blog about how wild and insane that feels to me: an introvert, defender of privacy, and lover of the background. I do respect that folx are curious about the person behind a business/brand. However, social media does not feel like the best platform for me to accomplish this. And yet, for a long time, I've felt like I was failing the business by not doing so. It's hard to go against the grain and wonder if my personal preference not to be so prominent on social media is slowing the growth of something I love so much. In therapy, they say "what you resist, persist." So, it's better to lean in or resolve to fight forever. I had to make a decision.


"Anything we love can be saved." - Alice Walker


I love Cafe con Libros and the community around her so, I literally had to treat social media like any relationship worth saving- figure out what I need from it, how it serves me, where we can grow together, what parts I can't control and therefore, just need to let go and finally, the areas where I do have absolute control then, slay.


"Mi dweet fi di love mi nuh dweet fi di likes." - Chronixx.


I realized that I get to define how I am represented on the page. I do not want to be center stage; I want my values to lead. I want our collective stories to be told. I want to create a community of joyous, critical, and fervent readers who love talking to one another.

I see social media as a tool to disrupt, elevate, educate, uplift, celebrate, and represent. I think of Melissa Harris-Perry's discussion on "misrecognition" and "fictive kin." I think first and foremost of my friends and family; a diverse set of humans who love and support me every single day. I want more than anything else for them to feel seen and in doing so, I hope that you too will feel seen as you are my fictive kin.



"I do it for the love, I don't do it for the likes."


I curate the page out of love - love for self, womxn's stories, the power of transgressive spaces, and of course books. My philosophy is if you feel the love, the likes will come.


Please, use my page as a resource to explore differences across all social identities, to be inspired, to be comforted, and to feel loved up on. It is my offering to you. If I succeed in any of these areas, all the other places where I'm failing in...well, it will be worth the "L."




always, kqd.

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