• kqd.

Self-Care Before, During and After COVID19, Part l

Updated: Apr 23, 2020

This blog was drafted weeks before COVID19 hit. It was born out of a conversation with my SisterFriend, Ambuir. We have these check-in sessions where we ask "how are you?" "how are you caring for yourself?" There is an unspoken expectation the answer will be detailed and oftentimes, it includes a list.

A few weeks ago, we had one of our intense Virgo-Scorpio chats where I literally listed all the ways I was intentionally caring for myself. If you have a Scorpio friend, you already know things can go deep, fast. When we were done, I thought, I should share this as a blog for mothers + entrepreneurs + full-time employees + wives + daughters + friends + new yorkers (etc).

And so, here it is. WARNING: It's not edited to reflect COVID19 specific self-care tips. As a business owner, there is a lot of pressure to tailor messaging to reflect COVID19 sensitivity. I get it. I want my community to know that I care because I do. I want them to know that I am cognizant that everyone can't stay home and am in solidarity with essential workers. However, right now, my entire life is lived in deference to the beast that is COVID19. I can't remap one more thing and frankly, I won't. And that's ok. My hope is that these tips are relevant before, during and after COVID19.

Self-care tip in action: grant oneself grace and compassion.

So here goes...

1. Choose your tribe wisely.

It’s important to have people who really care about you. These are folx who concretely express their interest, concern and investment in your well-being. They listen, follow up and push you where you need to be pushed. They also know when not to push; they care enough to know when you can't handle one more thing.

2. Let go of habits that mean well however; incite unnecessary stress.

For the first year of my business, I would check the point of sales system almost hourly to see how much money we made. It became so routine, I was barely thinking when I clicked the app. However, each time that I did, I would literally feel my pressure rise.

My therapist at the time suggested that I check it less frequently. Initially, I thought, that‘s irresponsible. However, after yet another day made miserable by low sales, I asked myself: what’s the most responsible thing to do for my own mental and soul health? I stopped and never looked back.

3. Be mindful of your social media engagement.

Community, I’m so sorry to say, social media is a problem. And, I'm not saying this because I absolutely hate social media and in all honesty, am a very public failure at it (lol...I don't even care anymore). I'm serious.

If you’re not careful who you follow, you’ll definitely find yourself surrounded by the most perfect people, with the most perfect lives with a few challenges sprinkled here and there however; all of which end with a perfect bow. No good and I don’t even have to say why.

We all experience jealousy. Some of us will be motivated by it while others, like myself, will have suppressed insecurities triggered in the worst way. I’m not petty when I mute those pages. Nor am I hating. I’m smart, I’m loving and I’m on the path to inner peace.

Mute. Unfollow. Delete. Do what you must to thrive and don't judge any of it!</